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last Friday during a quick Starbucks/lunch break at the mall, I zipped into Macy's and happened to pass by the 75% off rack in the Junior department. On that rack was a brown, long, flowing, seemingly beautiful Prom dress. I swooped it up in my arms, along with a few other items, and ran into the dressing room for a quick try-on.
The dress was strapless and had a bandanna bodice, with no zipper. It certainly wouldn't come up over my hips, so I put my hands over my head and shimmied the dress down onto my body. It hit my boobs, and I had to pull a bit - okay, maybe a lot - to get the bodice down over the ladies, but I got it pulled down and I looked up at myself in the mirror and it.was.Hideous. And what the H was I doing trying on a damm prom dress anyway?! Serious. I have absolutely no event on the books that would require a prom dress. Why was I wasting my time!? Those were my exact thoughts, as I looked at myself and this disgusting dress in the mirror and with disgust, I went to yank that ugliness off my body and it. would. NOT. come. off.
The dress mine as well have been epoxy glued onto my boobs.
I yanked, I pulled, I pushed, I grew frantic, I thanked Jesus I had on decent, full coverage, panties cause I had high doubts I was going to get this thing off of my body solo, and the only way it was coming off was by pulling it off over my head which would require full panty exposure. I sat down. I practiced breathing. I panicked. I tried again. And again. And TEN MINUTES later, the damm thing FINALLY came off!! I still, to this moment, don't know how.
OHMYLORD. How embarrassing would that have been!? Would I have traumatized the poor little sales girl and asked her to cut it off of me? Would I have called work and told them I wouldn't be back and called Rhett and sat in that dressing room and waited till he could come rescue me?? We'll never know. And it'll NEVER happen again, cause I determined then and there. NO MORE SHOPPING THE JUNIOR DEPARTMENT. These 32 year old ta-ta's just can't do it anymore. And that's all I have to say about that.
EXCEPT.. something did happen, about as equally embarrassing about 15 seconds later {same dressing room}, but this has been enough embarrassment for today. Maybe I'll share it next week.. ;)
-m-
ps, if you want to read some more funny stories,
check out the "50 Shades of Stupid" series,
hosted by Julie Marie,
my inspiration for today's post!
23 comments:
ok i really really need to hear the rest of this story... i am on the edge of my seat.. hahaha sneaky girl. hilarious. "what the h was i doing trying on a prom dress anyways??" OMG i was cracking up reading that..
I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I went shopping yesterday and my mom was like, oh just try this on from the Junior's section. I think I broke the zipper. And why in the world would a size 13 fit the same as a size 6? I don't understand it.
Haha, omg I love this story! I did one time experience the same thing at H&M, where a shirt would not come off of me. It took me 10 minutes and lots of sweating. Then I proceeded to buy it and later when I wore it, had to have my husband pull it off. He looked at me and was like "why don't you just unbutton the back"? Oh, it has buttons? What?
xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee
hahahahahaha this cracks me up!
Sadly, I think I've been there and done that. Even with a prom dress! No 32 year old needs a prom dress. Bahahahaha.
hahaha - this is hilarious! I have totally been there and had a borderline panic attack. And OMG a prom dress. You.are.the.best. You must share the rest of the story, miss! :)
Typical it's usually the tits that get us in trouble in all aspects of life. I blame the tibbies.
this just made my day. i don't have the bits big enough to cause problems like this. but my ass? my ass has been known to rip a few zippers on dresses to compensate for the small bits.
How funny Makaila! Thanks for the laugh...and yes, I've done the same exact thing. It drove me to literal tears I was so embarrassed. I remember thinking: How does it possibly go on, if it can't come off???
Thank you for the laugh today! OMG! This has happened to us all...I got stuck once too and I don't even have any boobs to "stick" me in something. Thank God I wasn't alone.My friend pulled me out of hell! I am seriously picturing you right now in that dressing room and I can't stop giggling!!! Damn Juniors Department and Prom Dresses!
I about fell out of my chair laughing at you saying, "what the hell am I doing trying on this dress anyway?!" I can just picture it! I've had an experience once trying to get out of a top like that. It sort of freaks you out...like claustrophobia, lol.
Trinity
oh makaila i am laughing so hard, it sucks being stuck in a dress but the way you told the story i am dying in laughter because i so can picture this exact thing happening to me. why am i trying on a dress i have no business trying on and because i have no business trying it on is the exact reason it is stuck on me
I never even went to prom, just so you know.
I kinda wish you had to have assistance because then it would have been straight up classic. You and your big ass boobs. i've never had that problem. ever.
i'm excited for part II.
hahaha!! I've had a few close calls like that. panic mode!!!
Thanks for the giggle and for linking up with us today!
Lmao!!! I have the same problem! But it's not with my tatas it's my booty. Depressing but true, we are no longer juniors. I cant wait to hear what else happened, embarassing or not this was the funniest post I've read in a while. Love you hotness!
Oh m. Ggg I've done this! Swear!
Next time call me I'll come rescue your ladies if you rescue mine!
HA!!!! Love this. And now you must share the other story!! Since graduating out of the juniors department at Macy's I have had a hard time figuring out where in Macy's is my section, and not the old lady section, because clearly, I am not an old lady. Any ideas??
Hahaha!!! Love this! I stopped shopping the junior department about a year ago. I just don't think I can pull it off anymore. I've definitely had my fair share of "how am I gonna get out of this" moments.
Too funny! My girls are the main reason I cannot go shopping in the jr's anymore, but yet we still try. I have never come as close as you did. I would have been FREAKIN out. As I believe you were. HA HA! Laughing so hard right now.
Julie from Stlavonlady – Scatterbrained In St. Louis
been there and done that! now it`s so funny when i remembering :D
Haha, oh noo! I've had that happen to me before where you completely panic that the garment is NOT coming off. I'm very petite (4'10") so I frequently shop the kids clothes but sometimes my thighs do NOT fit into the jeans. :) I'm a new follower!
-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Enter my scarf giveaway! (open internationally)
This had me rolling! I thought I was the only one who had been stuck in an un-bought item sweating and huffing to get the damn thing off. Glad you made it out unscathed!
HA! Your post (and your sketch of it) had me rolling... I have definitely been there... 15 years younger (and 80 lbs lighter) when I actually WAS a junior, I was 'blessed' (cursed?) to have the ta tas get stuck in a few unfortunate fitting room incidents.
I also vividly recall an escapade in Express when I was about 17 and shopping with a friend... I tried on a ring (still attached to the little hang card) and it WOULD.NOT.BUDGE... same panic ensued... even as the finger began to swell and turn red-then-purple, somehow (by the grace of God) I FINALLY got the blasted thing off! I have to tell ya', you sure know how to leave a cliff-hanger... I can't wait to come back next week and see what else embarrassing happened in the same dressing room ;)
God Bless, and nice to meet you!
~ Jess of The Colorful Ones
OH! And I totally forgot to post the best part… your story reminds me of a good friend of mine (who shall remain nameless).
She received some nice, erm, unmentionables (okay, fancy schmancy lingerie) at her bachelorette party.
One day not-too-long-after she divulged that she heard her soon-to-be-husband whimpering in the bedroom. She walked in to find him stuck with the lingerie half-off, his shoulders too broad for the skimpy little thing and his arms stuck inside, helpless (AND IN HER LINGERIE!)… turns out he was going to be all silly and walk in wearing the lingerie saying "Hey babe, what do you think?" then he changed his mind, but got stuck trying to take it off! OOPS! :)
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