Awesome. AND. Awkward.

he's the most awkwardly awesome kid i know

AWKWARD.

Sent an email to a friend telling her about my new MUST READ and she responded  “oh, thank you! I always love book referrals!”.  And I thought, ohgad.  I’m not a normal person anymore.  I don’t even hardly read the news anymore.  I read blogs.  “Wellll.. it’s actually a, um, Blog referral.” 

Called my insurance company and explained that I was interested in pre-marital counseling and wondered if my plan covered it.  Barely got the words out of my mouth and the voice on the phone says  “Wait, I need to ask you something.”  Me:  “okay.. sure”  voice on the phone “Do you want to hurt yourself right now?”   I glanced around my office, “Um, No”.  “Do you want to hurt someone else?"  I had to think about that one for a minute.  If she had asked me yesterday.... “No, not today”.  Turns out if you want counseling, it's mandatory they first check to see how bad you need it.  

Went to the tanning salon for some UV rays and the counter girl just kept going on and on and on and on and on about all the “Buy 2 get 1 free” products I could get.  “50% Off!! It’s such a good deal, you really should get something”.  I turned down a few products and finally, after the fourth, “but, it’s 50% off”,  I said. “You know, the thing is, I really don’t need anything, and 2 get 1 free is a good deal, but, it’s not 50% off.  It’s 33% off.  Just FYI.”  Gad.  Leave me alone, get your pitch straight, and I’m here for some Sunshine,  stop clouding up my day!

Someone found my blog last week by searching for “sexy baibi”.  WHAT!!  Ewwwww.  DON’T GOOGLE IT.  Disgusting.  How the heck did they end up on my blog from THAT?  Gross.

An evil sweet woman in my office is selling candy bars for a buck, proceeds go to her grandsons wresting tournaments.  I was STARVING the other day, so I threw five bucks in and took out four bars.  Unwrapped one, and threw the others in a desk drawer.  I was still hungry after I ate the first one, so I opened up my drawer and grabbed another one.  I left my office, came back, opened up my drawer and ate another one.  Two times.  And I was still freaking hungry!!  I opened up my drawer again, and they were gone.  No bars left.  I demolished them in 43 minutes.  And then I thought about going back to collect on my extra one dollar donation.  *SMH*  I didn’t. 

AWESOME.

Insomnia has hit me hard.  Again.  It’s the absolute worst, but the absolute best is when I wake up, I wake up Rhett too and he is so kind to me.  One night I woke him up to tell him that Rob Kardashian was going to start selling socks, and he said “that’s really cool babe”.  The next night I woke him up, “I can’t sleeeeep baaaabe”, so he rolled over, grabbed his phone, and starting playing me funny videos.  Till 5am.  He’s so Awesome. 

Retro is back and it is Awesome.  And apparently- Public Pay Phones are Awesome again too.  My kid has a cell phone so he can call me when he gets off the bus and is walking home.  He kept mentioning to me that there is a pay phone by the bus stop, and if for some reason he ever forgot his phone, he’d put a bag of quarters in his backpack and he could call me from it.  I was kinda dismissive about it cause, seriously, you have a cell phone, why on earth would you want to use a phone booth?  I died and went to heaven when I was 17 and got my first cell phone and wouldn’t have been caught dead in a phone booth, I had a cell phone dangit!  I’ve gotten two phone calls from the phone booth this week.  “hey mom, ya, I accidently {ya, right} left my phone at home so just calling you from the pay phone”.  Me:  “okay Bird, well, get on home now.“  looong pause.  Tristen:  “well, do you want to know how my day was?”  He’s obsessed with the pay phone; he just wants to talk and talk and talk on it.  “Go home and sanitize Bird”.  

 

The fact that I have size 6 feet, and the fact that department stores display size 6 shoes.   I don’t even have to bother with the shoe department attendant.  I can grab the shoe on display and try on any pair of shoes I please, right then and there.  PLUS.  It’s almost always the size 6’s that make it to the clearance rack, which was AWESOME this week cause I scored myself 3 pair of size 6’s for $9.99.  WhoopWhoop!

Most Awesome of all this week is that my momma, and my bro, and my sis-in-law, and their two boys are coming for the weekend.  I can’t waiiiiit!!!

Have an Awesome day peeps!

-m-